Weekend

On Friday we met with Paige's second oncologist. Even while she acknowledged that Paige had virtually no chance of long term servival, her attitude was sooo different from the other oncologist's. She spoke of a couple drugs that might be worth a shot.

Being offered even a tiny baby sized flicker of hope, and a plan that wasn't just palliative (which means, being treated for comfort, while you wait to die) made me feel so much better. It was just a slight attitude shift from the other doctor, but it made a huge difference in lifting my spirits. We have no promise that the new, less-tested drugs will work at all, but it feels great to have options still left.

Pre-grieving hurts so much. I know we are fortunate to be able to have the chance to say goodbye, which some parents don't get. But to grieve while she still lives seems so strange.

We had an amazing time in Maine at my sister's house this weekend. The kids got to play with Tim and Carrie's kids (Ben and Tim have been friends since, I don't know, maybe junior high) and go to the ocean, and Luke got to sleep in a tent one night. And they went to fireworks, and they played at the playground, and jumped on the trampoline, and went to eat at the Mexican restaurant where my niece Shannon works.

On Sunday morning we went to the Vineyard, Ronda and Dave's church, and Luke and Paige loved the music. Paige loved clapping and cheering after each song. At one point, the music leader was trying to slow down the pace, and get more quiet and contemplative. Paige, missing the subtle cues, in the big moment of silence after a song ended, gave a huge, enthusiastic, "Yay!!!!!!" heard by everyone in the big auditorium.

We brought her up for prayer after the service. One person prayed that she would be a woman of God. I amen that. I'm praying that she'll live to be 78.

Then came the highlight of the weekend: Rick and Kathy's house on a lake! A ton of people packed into a motorboat, and some of them went tubing, including Paige on daddy's lap! I wasn't in the boat, but they said Paige loved going fast in the boat when they were pulling another tuber, and that she would laugh and shriek.

The kids had a blast playing in the sand, "building houses." I spent a good part of the day inside, abstract painting with watercolors. It's my latest hobby, and it is amazingly relaxing and theraputic.

So that's what' going on here. I suspect we may be up at the hospital later this week, giving some drug or other a try. I really hope it doesn't make her beautiful hair fall out.

Thank you to all who commented on my last blog. Knowing that people are supporting us is a huge blessing.