It's been a rough week. And once again, when I have an extra sad Paige week, one or more of my family members is also. And so here I am, checking to see if this week is an anniversary of anything extra hard; bad prognosis, turn for the worse. That sort of thing. It hurt hurts. Quite badly, actually.
I just read over a bunch of posts from September of 2007, two months before Paige died. How I had the presence of mind to write coherently is beyond me. It's hard to tell if it's a specific anniversary. I guess I'm sad just because.
A few weeks ago I dreamed of her again, which I do about every month or two. This time we were in the "middle room" of my childhood house, and Paige was there. I got to hold her, and she told me she loved me. And then something in the room - invisible to me - caught her attention, and her face keep looking left, then right, as though there were a stream of people passing. I think she said, "Guys!" And in the dream I figured out that they were male angels. And quite a few, too; probably fifteen of them. They had arrived to take Paige back to heaven. It was a nice visit, though.
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2 comments:
Dearest Kerri,
I wanted to share that I am part of the 46mommas.com team. Our goal is to raise awareness for pediatric cancer. The day you last posted 9/7 was the day I shaved my head in Los Angeles with 45 other moms of children with cancer. You were all so close in my heart that day. We were on stand up to cancer telethon last week as a group. I wanted you to know that sweet Paigey's memory lives on in the work we are doing!
Hugs!
Jennifer
Jennifer!! I saw you! Earlier this week I got a PAC2 email update (People Against Childhood Cancer) and there was a link on there to a slideshow of 46mommas. So I watched it, and cried and cried, and then was like, hey, that looks like Benjamin. Wait, and that's Jennifer!!! Hooray for you! How was the whole experience? Did they fly you to LA? Did you meet any other moms with children that have Benjamin's diagnosis? And thank you for still reading my blog. Sometimes I feel like everyone has moved on, and why haven't I. But you keep popping up, and keep cheering me on, and it matters to me. Thank you.
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