A Sunny Wednesday

A few thoughts. One, there have been few people who have asked my mom if she thought I would mind getting an email from them. I don't mind at all. I haven't had what it takes to post many of my thoughts, or to reply to most of the emails I have received, but I certaintly do like reading them.

Two. I miss Paige sitting on my lap, and how her silky new hair felt on my chin. And I can't remember what she smells like. I hope I stumble across something in her room that still smells like her.

I have been thinking about donating platelets before Christmas. It's more involved than donating blood, and takes a couple of hours. They take blood out of one arm, spin it in a machine to get the platelets, and send the remaining (still useful) red blood back into the other arm. I'm hoping to have a "Platelet Party" with some of my family, and all go together to keep each other company.

I can get more details later, but lets see how many units of platelets we can donate between now and Paige's birthday, which is March 26. I believe you can donate up to once a week. I know that the need for platelets outweighs the supply.

And finally, if you have a Paige story, or memory or picture, that you want to post, I (and many more people also!) would love to hear/see it. I'm so sad that the pictures and stories of her life are completed, but if we share each other's stories, it brings her back to life for just a moment.

December morning

To everyone who sent us cards, or who contributed to Samaritan's Purse, thank you. And to everyone who prays for us, a huge thank you. Someone wrote to me that every night they and their three year old pray for our family, and it made me cry.

Overall, we are plodding along, our grief an ember that gets fanned, as we see things that remind us of Paige, or find ourselves in a situation that she would enjoy - like today's snowstorm. She was a big fan of throwing snowballs at Grandpa M, and I know that she would want to be outside today.

The service was beautiful, and seeing those who came for us and for Paige was a pretty amazing experience.

When I feel really sad, I remind myself that if I just wait around long enough, I'll see her again. 60 more years, based on my family's blasted genes, and I wonder things like, Did she arrive in heaven a 2 1/2 year old? Will she be little when I see her, or will she be a grown-up? I'm banking on the former. I think her days in heaven are filled with playing, and with welcoming new babies and children, and helping them feel loved and at home. There's no one better for the job.