Friday afternoon

Ben and I are going to make a container for Paigey's "dust" (as Luke calls it) at the Sharon Art Center, where they have generously donated clay and studio time. We are going to make the vessel on the potters wheel, and then glaze it ourselves, probably with lots of pink and purple. As of now, we are planning to have her buried in Dublin, in a small cemetery, but Luke is adamant that he wants to make her a rainbow colored box for some of her dust, and keep it in his room. So I think we will involve him in some of the process, and he can make a container too.

I was thinking today, after our conversation about dust, about how when it's my turn to die, (which won't be till I'm 90 I hope!) I will be so much less afraid, knowing that at the end of the unknown and mysterious journey, I get to see Paige! A bizarre thing to be thankful for, that Paige is in heaven to greet me and make death easier (for me and a lot of us who love her, I think!) but that's how I see it. She is such a warm sweet memory to me, like wearing a pink cozy fuzzy backpack in front of me over my heart, like a baby carrier.

I dream about her frequently, which I love.

So I will now wrap up my very random post. Thank you to everyone who still reads this.

Wednesday Evening

Benefit for Paigey!!!!!!!

Hey everybody!!!! Come to this show!!


Come Together Show
April 25th
Merrimack High School
Merrimack, NH
6pm

This show will benefit Kristen's Gift which supports the Children's Oncology Dept. at Children's Hospital at Dartmouth.
We are doing this show in Honor of a Paige. Paige lost her battle to cancer at the age of 2 and 1/2. She was always smiling and dancing. She lived life to the fullest.
All proceeds will be donated in her name.

Please help us. $1565.00 raised so far. We want to raise $3000 or more. Please help us get there.
You may send a donation by making a check out to Kristen's Gift and mailing it to
Success Dance and Performing Arts Center
416J DW Hwy
Merrimack, NH 03054
Attn Sue Richardson
Of course if you are near you may come to the show. We will have food, raffles, silent auction, and lots of fun. Tickets $10 adult $7 students/seniors

Happy Birthday Paige!!!!

Happy Birthday, my beautiful, sweet, amazing daughter! I hope you have a lovely day, with a beautiful princess dress to wear, and lots of pretty jewelry, and pretty things for you hair (which is curly, and not a crew cut!) and lots of kids to play with, and lots of animals to play with and ride on. Luke said the other day that in heaven he wants to ride a crocodile, and have races!

I miss you like crazy, but to think of you is also so sweet and comforting. I don't know how I got the amazing privilege of being your mom, but I sure am thankful! I'm doing ok down here. You and God have made me strong, and with that, I can face anything.

Luke keeps talking about you, and gets certain toys ready, "so that when Paigey comes back, she can play with them." He misses you so much.

Oh little girl, you are such a treasure to me. I can't wait to see you again. Until then, I laugh when I remember funny things you did, and I talk about you all the time. You are strong, and loving, and you always spoke your mind, and I hope I will be more and more like you.

Today we might go to a fun kids' museum, to celebrate your birthday, and maybe buy some pretty balloons. My little Lovey, I send you millions of hugs and kisses, and know that I carry you in my heart always, until I get to be with you again.

Love, your mama

Thursday morning

To Honor You, by Connie Byrd

To honor you, I get up every day and take a breath.
And start another day without you in it.

To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile
And the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.

To honor you, I take time to appreciate everyone I love,
I know there is no guarantee of the days or hours spent in their presence.

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked,
And sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back,
Risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.

You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the highest source.

So everyday, I vow to make a difference, Share a smile, LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.

Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you.