Ben and I are going to make a container for Paigey's "dust" (as Luke calls it) at the Sharon Art Center, where they have generously donated clay and studio time. We are going to make the vessel on the potters wheel, and then glaze it ourselves, probably with lots of pink and purple. As of now, we are planning to have her buried in Dublin, in a small cemetery, but Luke is adamant that he wants to make her a rainbow colored box for some of her dust, and keep it in his room. So I think we will involve him in some of the process, and he can make a container too.
I was thinking today, after our conversation about dust, about how when it's my turn to die, (which won't be till I'm 90 I hope!) I will be so much less afraid, knowing that at the end of the unknown and mysterious journey, I get to see Paige! A bizarre thing to be thankful for, that Paige is in heaven to greet me and make death easier (for me and a lot of us who love her, I think!) but that's how I see it. She is such a warm sweet memory to me, like wearing a pink cozy fuzzy backpack in front of me over my heart, like a baby carrier.
I dream about her frequently, which I love.
So I will now wrap up my very random post. Thank you to everyone who still reads this.
12 comments:
How sweet that you get the honor of making the "vessell" for your angel. Yet, another way you get to be with her until you meet again in heaven. I think its wonderful that Luke wants his sister, that is a bond that will not ever be broken. My heart conitnues to ache for you and your family.
The other day I had brought Benjamin to "clinic" in Lebanon and caught a glimpse of 2 children making projects in the playroom... and it brought me back. They had their chemo's running and looking pale but yet soaking up the energy of the fun they were having. Only children with cancer can truely make a longggggg day of treatments fun. But as you and I both know, those days are filled with heart ache.
I hope your days aren't as long and the memories are all good. We miss & love you!
Jennifer & Benjamin
Thank you for all you invested in this blog. I didn't discover it until shortly before Paige's death, but I went back to the very beginning and read everything. When I finished, I felt that even though I had never met Paige, that in a limited but very real way I knew her. Now whenever I think of you or her, it's not just with a wave of sadness-- as it would be if I had just heard about her death without reading the blog -- but I also picture Paige herself in my my mind along with a whole bunch of happy memories -- blog memories!
I sure know what you mean about it being easier to think about dying knowing that Paige will be there to meet you. It also came to my mind that if even a two-year-old can jump into the Shepherd's arms and be carried to heaven, maybe it's not a transition I need to over-worry about.
I won't forget that little girl of yours. Thank you for letting us get to know her.
Kerri,
thinking of you.
jennifer
I think that is a beautiful idea. My family continues to pray for you guys.
Kerri once again thank you for sharing this journey with us. We pray for you and your family often and love you so very much.
Jen
Hi Guys
We still think of and pray for you all. Meghan brings Paige up every now and then and the tears start flowing. She really misses her. I tell her Paige is right there watching everything she does. So Meghan is dancing her recital next weekend for Paige. You all give me the strength. Luke you rock and I am still coming to Dublin Lake this summer and we are going fishing and swimming. Sue and Meghan
we love you:) Thanks for the update!
I'm glad to still read this. I think about you all every day.
Love you
Kellie,Jesse and Holly
Thinking of you all tonight... with tears after reading your beautiful birthday letter to Paige. Know you are cared for and prayed for even still, by family in Christ you've never met.
Remembering today how your family showed us so much love during your most difficult times. I will never forget that. Kerri, Choral, Scott...always will hold a special place in my heart.
Love,
Jennifer
Hello,
thinking of you often. Sending lots of love your way!
Jennifer & Benjamin
Kerri,
Thinking of you and thanking you for joining AJ's team.
Jennifer
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